Death of a Bibliophile

I have spent the days of the years of my life in constant erudition, with an insatiable yearning for a perfect enlightenment. I have pursued a menagerie of studies, in an effort to be a master of every piece of learning; I have studied divers subjects at colleges and libraries. Never have I paused in my quest; my intellectual strivings have been incessant, relentless. Over time I have accumulated a multitude of books, encyclopaedia, and magazines. I have scoured the country for the rarest literatures, a wide gamut of literary works and academic artifacts are contained within my personal library.

Today it has been decided for me to die. I look at the volumes beside my bedside. Aged like good wine, their pages have that comforting smell that such books acquire. I look at them lovingly. The many memories of time spent with them stream through my mind. My faithful friends they have been through the time I have spent on this earth.

I remember vicarious journeys through time and space, adventures in far off lands, meetings with people of varied class and culture. But it has not been fiction alone - teachings of great masters, philosophies of an era, tenets of a religion, and more have I imbibed from various tomes. My wisdom far surpasses my peers, there is none that I know who has read as much as I. I can preach ancient Judaistic mythology and Euclidian geometry, quantum physics and socialist philosophy, linguistics and animal psychology. Yes, I can say I know it all.

Yet, in these last few moments of my life, I feel a void, a sense of regret. I look as the attendants carry out their allotted tasks around my bed. I have read the works of the greatest minds, but I have not discovered what lies within these simple minds. I have read accounts of the most exotic places, but I have never visited. And even on occasion when I have toured, it has been purely in search of more texts to enhance my collection. As I look back at my travels, I realize I have never actually lived in places I have visited, I have never interacted with the people, nor have I practiced the arts or sciences. I have learnt but not employed.

What use is all this wisdom now? It does not save me from my ultimate demise. Soon I will be naught but dust, not unlike my illiterate ancestors. All my learnings will be in vain. My mind echoes the words of the wise King Solomon, yet even he enjoyed a more visceral set of pleasures than I. Now I doubt whether I have learnt all there is to learn. I think of all the knowledge that has never been penned, that has to be learnt by doing. I look back at my life, has it been wasted among ink and papers? Is even the peon wiser than I?

Today I die. Still there is a yearning desire to know, for there is much in heaven, and much that is hidden from the hearts of men.

It sucks to be an expert. Everyone wants to partake of your expertise.

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