Hampi Dumpy

So I go on holiday for the weekend and the government collapses. Seriously, you can't leave these idiots alone for a minute. At least the new government will be a tad better than the led-by-a-bullfrog coalition.

Hampi is the place to be. For some reason, all the children there come up to touristy type people and say "Hello, school pen", at first I'd wave back and say Hi, but what the hell was 'school pen'?or sometimes "Hello, school pen?" No I'm not a school pen! Then I heard one chap say, what sounded like "Hello, school friend", now this made just a little more sense than 'school pen', even though I didn't actually go to school with these kids. However I was thrown of again by some kids who came towards me saying those lines with a writing gesture. So perhaps it did have something to do with pens? Then there were a bunch of them that would say "Hello, school pen", followed by "one rupees, two rupees" and then they'd hold out their hands expectantly. So maybe they wanted a donation to buy a school pen. I guess it'll just be one of those mysteries.

I like the smell of offerings burnt eons ago, that lingers in the temple ruins. Standing on the banks of a river flowing through rocky hills is just so peaceful.

It's a small town where everyone knows everyone else, and one can spend an entire afternoon in one of the little shacks watching animated conversations between the local folk. They somehow seemed to be fighting all the time, but without any physical violence. People would bump into each other on the road and start and argument, then they would walk away like it was a normal thing, still yelling something, trying to get the last word in, until they were out of earshot.

There's always some amount of temple sculpture reserved to show the gods fucking! And they tend to be more bizarre than most porn I've seen. There was this one image of a woman getting orally imapled by the penis of an elephant. That's why one must always think twice before agreeing to blow an elephant!

Watching pure devotion is bliss.

Tagged Like an Animal in a Research Program

So, Fingers of Babushkas and Anadems fame tagged me. Apparently I'm supposed to write 8 things I'd like in an ideal partner. I'm doubting I'd ever have an ideal partner but here goes.

1. She should be quirky, and have all these little fascinating anomalies of character.
2. She should be smart and able to think for herself
3. She should have a sense of humour and it would be great if she got little subculture related jokes
4. She should dress impeccably different, not like every other woman on the road.
5. Her interests should span across a vast number of fields, not necessarily the same ones of mine. If she knew about stuff I didn't that would be awesome!
6. Not in the least bit conservative.
7. Listen to a fair amount of interesting music, again not necessarily the same genres I listen to, but she shouldn't listen to something just cause everyone else does.
8. Arrrgh....couldn't we just stop with 7? Oh, yeah, she's gotta be hot!

Sinusoidal Maniac

As I write this scarabs are partying in my head, in a bacchanalia of sinovial fluids. Round and round they swirl. AUGHHHH!!!

Denominations

“Alright, I’ll make you a deal you can’t refuse: exclusive control of these territories, here, here and here, but no rights, here, here and uhm…here!”

“Are you kidding me? And what about my father’s people? They’re going to be bang in the middle of your territories?”

“Oh, that won’t be any problem, we’ll work around that! In any case, why are you looking out for them after what they did to you when you were there?”

“Look, it’s not about that, you know we just can’t leave them there. You know it will cause problems, people can’t live peacefully, it’s an innate fault of theirs.”

“And whose fault is that? What was your father thinking when he gave them their facilities? These people should have strict laws governing them, they shouldn’t be treated much better than animals – an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, that’s what I say.”

“You know my father tried that approach, but it’s restrictive, people should be given a choice. They should be free to control their lives…”

“Even if it means that they’ll screw up their lives, and the lives of others in the process?”

“Well… yes. We should provide guidelines for them to follow, but ultimately the choice belongs to the individual. We can’t give people a rigid set of laws and expect them to follow it fanatically. There are bound to be gray areas, we mustn’t discount their intelligence, and their ability to handle such situations. What do you say Buds?”

“Moderation…”

“Screw moderation! You know it won’t work. They need a sense of purpose, not the free time to question life. They’re like sheep, one cannot constantly tend them, and hence the need for strict rules, and righteous leaders who will ensure the rules are followed.”

“As I was saying, the middle path is the path best followed…”

“Alright Buds, how bout we just give you these territories, here and here, and you can preach to them, alright?”

“Can I also get this piece?”

“Here? That’s prime estate man!”

“I want to try a few variations”

“What the hell are you talking about? Variations? We’re talking about keeping the system together and you want variations? In any case I’m not giving you the whole thing, I want these areas. You can keep these”

“As you please.”

“Now onto this large fertile area…”

“Dibs on the west!”

“What? You think this is some sort of childish game?”

“Sorry, man, but I’ve claimed it.”

“What the fuck! You’ve already got all this land, and…”

“Listen, don’t use coarse language! You know my father made you what you are today!”

“WHAT?”

“How about we settle for a compromise? We leave the playing field open here.”

“I’ve called and I’m keeping it! Of course we can let them all mingle, so that everyone has a fair chance to see if their methods work!”

“Ha! My people are gonna kick you people’s butt!”

"Foo you!"

A 15 minute piece based on the work of aaron jasinski.

His Trip to Katatonos

A warm summer evening
The fireflies ever brighter
Outside his bedroom window
Bits of wind
Dancing round his room
Playing hide and seek in the curtains
Cartwheels on the bed stand

Twilight suddenly!
Across the universe
The street flooded in kaleidoscopic light
Girls in the corner shop
Putting on mascara
Quaint music wafting through
Women welcoming him, young as he was
Offering various delights
Dark alleys of the unspeakable
“Hi, how are you?”
He wanders past
Shops of darkstone
Bright yet dim colours
Flicker softly
Dancing monkeys
Floated on clouds
Through temples of stone

Expedite Kaiser Forthwith!

A fly! A fly that had the audacity to alight upon the most wise and revered nose of our fullgracious and benevolent sovereign, Al-Felin Felingreen, may his name be proclaimed a thousand times ere it cease to exist!

An inquiry! An inquiry most urgent, to be conducted through the land to discover the cause for this most appalling effrontery of our distinguished and highcelebrated lordship, Al-Felin Felingreen, undisputed master of the thirty six provinces of Hazim-Sikah and Groundoria.

A massacre! A massacre of four hundred, eighty thousand, twenty one flies that refused to co-operate with interrogating officials, humble servants of the esteemed and worshipful ruler, Al-Felin Felingreen, may his reign know no end, and were thus condemned to death on account of high treason and refusal to divulge such information that might forward the investigation of the cause of this despicable insult to our supreme and surely wiseprudent judge, Al-Felin Felingreen, champion of his lowly subjects, the people of Hazim-Sikah and Groundoria.

A destruction! A destruction of those structures that house or might house flies or materialstuff that so might act as a mainspring for these vileloathsome creatures, presumptuous such that they disrespect our godlike and majestic master, Al-Felin Felingreen, may his kingdom know no bounds.

A bier! A bier for our potentate, the overworthy and righteous king, Al-Felin Felingreen, who lies ostentigrandiose in his mighty repose, so austere that even the hated fly should not have disturbed him though he were dead three weeks.

Of Gnu Ears and Resolutions

"This year I will be constantly striving to improve myself within the boundaries of complacency"

There!