Friday, October 21, 2005
I just had to post this
http://www.qwantz.com/index.pl?comic=640
Of course I mustn't make this a habit, considering the number of comics I read per day!
Of course I mustn't make this a habit, considering the number of comics I read per day!
Thursday, September 29, 2005
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
Monday, September 26, 2005
Friday, September 23, 2005
Pointing Systems: Deconstructing Existential Validation Metrics
“Everything is vanity, life is like chasing after the wind.” – King Solomon
For aeons man has questioned his purpose, his need to exist, the rational behind life. Unfortunately, a sufficiently pleasant yet universally confirmable answer is yet unknown and from our limited experience we can surmise: everything is nothing.
Thus, when existence is meaningless and purpose is pointless, the pointing systems are in place to give value to the isness of an entity, tangible or otherwise. The base principle being, the point giver awards points to the point receiver in a mutual act of observation of the other’s existence.
The value attached to the points is instantaneous and based on the unquestionable judiciousness of the point giver in the moment. The transfer of points acts as a validation of the existence of the two entities involved in the process. Thus it can be deemed as a personal expression of acknowledgement between two entities.
Points can be given a weightage when they are being distributed, especially among a group, this being to express the greater delight that the receiver’s act has brought to the giver in a momentary comparison to everything else. However this weightage is solely momentary and may vary based on a large number of external factors, the final baseline being that the point transfer has occurred, since the value of the points is infinite within the instant of reception.
Thus we can see that the accrual of points is meaningless for they have no cumulative value, each point being infinite within itself, and the instantaneous measure place on the points is only an expression of the value of the moment as seen by the giver to the receiver.
Finally, as is every other system to man, we find the pointing system is inconsequential in death, but purposeful in life. Points act as a catalyst towards a continued survival. They are mutual expressions of appreciation and affirmation of the essence of being. And if I think, therefore I am, then, I give you points, therefore we are.
For aeons man has questioned his purpose, his need to exist, the rational behind life. Unfortunately, a sufficiently pleasant yet universally confirmable answer is yet unknown and from our limited experience we can surmise: everything is nothing.
Thus, when existence is meaningless and purpose is pointless, the pointing systems are in place to give value to the isness of an entity, tangible or otherwise. The base principle being, the point giver awards points to the point receiver in a mutual act of observation of the other’s existence.
The value attached to the points is instantaneous and based on the unquestionable judiciousness of the point giver in the moment. The transfer of points acts as a validation of the existence of the two entities involved in the process. Thus it can be deemed as a personal expression of acknowledgement between two entities.
Points can be given a weightage when they are being distributed, especially among a group, this being to express the greater delight that the receiver’s act has brought to the giver in a momentary comparison to everything else. However this weightage is solely momentary and may vary based on a large number of external factors, the final baseline being that the point transfer has occurred, since the value of the points is infinite within the instant of reception.
Thus we can see that the accrual of points is meaningless for they have no cumulative value, each point being infinite within itself, and the instantaneous measure place on the points is only an expression of the value of the moment as seen by the giver to the receiver.
Finally, as is every other system to man, we find the pointing system is inconsequential in death, but purposeful in life. Points act as a catalyst towards a continued survival. They are mutual expressions of appreciation and affirmation of the essence of being. And if I think, therefore I am, then, I give you points, therefore we are.
Sunday, September 18, 2005
Swansong Earth
"Plutonic, plutonic"
The faeries sprechgesang
"Our terra is governed.
Frayed, the ends
Of the peopled race.
Oh, the folly of man!"
Dance they did
In last light,
Until the stars was come.
And then the flamebugs
Lit the night,
To kindle their dirgesong.
Far away
The machine wurzed
Incontinent along its path.
The very forest
That gave them life
Heartless, they brought down.
The phantasmagoric function done,
The faeries did retire
Into the heart of Mother Earth.
For now her wrath
Unleashed would be
Upon fool denizen.
The faeries sprechgesang
"Our terra is governed.
Frayed, the ends
Of the peopled race.
Oh, the folly of man!"
Dance they did
In last light,
Until the stars was come.
And then the flamebugs
Lit the night,
To kindle their dirgesong.
Far away
The machine wurzed
Incontinent along its path.
The very forest
That gave them life
Heartless, they brought down.
The phantasmagoric function done,
The faeries did retire
Into the heart of Mother Earth.
For now her wrath
Unleashed would be
Upon fool denizen.
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
Kili Kili Kili
The damn pitcher needs a refill! There are some ideas at the bottom, but I'll need some stones of inspiration to get them to surface. And a crow, someone give me a damn crow. A crow I tell you!
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Public Awareness Message
Save water when you flush. A single flush drains enough water to support seven hundred and fifty three micro-midget families. The micro-midgets are an important part of the economy. They rear micro-midget sheep, whose dung is collected and sold as caviar. Yes it’s a little known fact! And without caviar the Russian economy would be further ruined, and they would take to building more nuclear missiles to supply to Asian countries, thus catalyzing the arms race, which would result in a nuclear fallout and the ultimate destruction of the Earth.
Now you know how everyone plays an important part in keeping the world safe!
Today’s message brought to you by the Malossol Caviar Production House Incorporated.
PS: Also say no to Coca Cola!
Now you know how everyone plays an important part in keeping the world safe!
Today’s message brought to you by the Malossol Caviar Production House Incorporated.
PS: Also say no to Coca Cola!
Saturday, August 20, 2005
A Rolling Stone
“Ah, yes! Good morning, sir
What can I do for you?
Are you interested in a room?
I’ve got a loo with a view!”
“Is this the hotel California?”
The traveller blandly said
“You know, the place
Where they have the spirits of the dead.”
“Oh, come now, sir” the innkeeper replied
“I wouldn’t believe all that rubbish if I were you!
But would you still be interested
In that loo with a view?”
The traveller looked at the innkeeper;
He was around five foot seven.
“Do you know,” he asked,
“Where I can find the Stairway to Heaven?”
“An old lady used to know that”
The innkeeper responded.
“But she’s got something with a piper
I would stay away”, he warned.
“It’s like this,” the traveller went on
“I’m interested in this weird occult and stuff”
“That’s great, sir. Why don’t you take a room?
We’ve got ladies in the buff!”
“I’ll stay,” said the traveller
“If you’ve got tapes that play backward.”
“Who’d want that?” asked the innkeeper,
“That would be really awkward!”
The traveller went on to explain
“They have secret messages, that when
Played backwards become very plain.”
“Why would you play it backwards
Unless you had no brain?”
“Well, they make the music such, that
When you play it, what’s reversed affects the mind”
“Just take a room,” the innkeeper said
“At a discount – I’ll be kind!”
“Do you know a Sergeant Pepper?
He died twenty years ago today?”
The innkeeper said, “I don’t know
But we have a band that cannot play!”
“Well,” said the customer, “just give
Me a room. I’ll take whatever’s fine”
“That’s the spirit”, the innkeeper cheered,
“I’ll give you room number Nine.”
“Number nine?” the customer asked
“Number nine” affirmed the innkeeper
“Number nine?” once more
“Number nine!” testily
Then the innkeeper lit up a candle
And showed him the way
There were voices in the corridor
He thought he heard them say
“Watch it, we just polished the floor!”
What can I do for you?
Are you interested in a room?
I’ve got a loo with a view!”
“Is this the hotel California?”
The traveller blandly said
“You know, the place
Where they have the spirits of the dead.”
“Oh, come now, sir” the innkeeper replied
“I wouldn’t believe all that rubbish if I were you!
But would you still be interested
In that loo with a view?”
The traveller looked at the innkeeper;
He was around five foot seven.
“Do you know,” he asked,
“Where I can find the Stairway to Heaven?”
“An old lady used to know that”
The innkeeper responded.
“But she’s got something with a piper
I would stay away”, he warned.
“It’s like this,” the traveller went on
“I’m interested in this weird occult and stuff”
“That’s great, sir. Why don’t you take a room?
We’ve got ladies in the buff!”
“I’ll stay,” said the traveller
“If you’ve got tapes that play backward.”
“Who’d want that?” asked the innkeeper,
“That would be really awkward!”
The traveller went on to explain
“They have secret messages, that when
Played backwards become very plain.”
“Why would you play it backwards
Unless you had no brain?”
“Well, they make the music such, that
When you play it, what’s reversed affects the mind”
“Just take a room,” the innkeeper said
“At a discount – I’ll be kind!”
“Do you know a Sergeant Pepper?
He died twenty years ago today?”
The innkeeper said, “I don’t know
But we have a band that cannot play!”
“Well,” said the customer, “just give
Me a room. I’ll take whatever’s fine”
“That’s the spirit”, the innkeeper cheered,
“I’ll give you room number Nine.”
“Number nine?” the customer asked
“Number nine” affirmed the innkeeper
“Number nine?” once more
“Number nine!” testily
Then the innkeeper lit up a candle
And showed him the way
There were voices in the corridor
He thought he heard them say
“Watch it, we just polished the floor!”
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
Dance in the Sun
We’re off to the magical kingdom
Where the giant crocodiles grow
Where the sun shines bright
And P. James does magic shows!
Where the giant crocodiles grow
Where the sun shines bright
And P. James does magic shows!
“Starboard!” cried Vendu, as we all dived to one side, shifting the weight on the boat. Vendu pulled the stick to which the outboard rudder was attached, pushing the whirring blades into the surf, as the boat jumped up over the waves and swerved to the right. The Alpina Verona bounced along the waves, making good time, as we neared the temple
Vendu busied himself with anchoring the boat, as the rest of us got off one by one. With the motor of the boat cut off, there was not a single man-made sound on the island. Just the waves, crashing pacific on the shore. And animal sounds – the small furry kinds and the feathered kinds, from the forest ahead of us. Blues, greens, and bright yellows filled the scene.
The small crowd of tourists walked off in different directions, eager to explore the mystical
island. Vendu sat on a rock near his boat and lit his pipe.
“Would you like to see the temple?” he asked, his mouth bent crooked to accommodate the pipe as he spoke.
“Sure”, I replied.
He got up and jumped over a couple of rocks into the trees that lined the side of the beach. The “This way” he beckoned.
|  |
The apsaras, the apsaras
They dance naked among the flowers
Mushrooming around them
As they shoot up to the stars
 | We climbed to the top of the hills, discovering temple after temple. Jumping from rock to rock, taking our cues from the goats that resided in the area. Night drew near as we sat atop the highest rock. In the distance the silhouette of one of the temples stood, stark, against the setting sun. |
Friday, August 12, 2005
Sow the seed!
It's been a while since a post! The thing is, my fertile imagination lies dormant! I need to spew some creative jizz on it! So I'm gonna take a short vacation this weekend! Yay!
Sunday, July 31, 2005
I've got a Feedreader!
Well so I decided to download Feed Reader 2.90 , so now I can keep meself well updated with everyone's blogs, without having to check everyday!
I suggest this to those of you'll who check a large number of blogs. The only problem with feedreader is that you have to double click the post name to get a webpage view, otherwise it has a rather shitty view!
I suggest this to those of you'll who check a large number of blogs. The only problem with feedreader is that you have to double click the post name to get a webpage view, otherwise it has a rather shitty view!
Saturday, July 23, 2005
Lappu and Teelu: A Tale of Two Aural Protuberances
Like most aural protuberances, Lappu and Teelu have never actually met each other, this by virtue of being located on opposite ends of the horizontal facial axis. But Lappu and Teelu have, of course, heard of the other.
The two aural protuberances (we shall refer to them as aupros henceforth – it sounds both cute and Bengali) are thought to exist for ornamental reasons. While most evolutionary thinkers argue that the aupro is a vestigial organ, there are a handful of biologists who believe that they assimilate and filter auditory data, which can be employed for some useful purpose. While this has never been scientifically proven, aupros like Lappu and Teelu are living examples of this fact.
For purely illustratory purposes, let us take the mirthful laughter of good, old Saint Nick. “Ho ho ho” he guffaws, as he jovially cavorts from one roof top to another, accompanied with jingling bells, and the clip clop of reindeer hooves. To his credit, he seems to succeed at his task of gift deposition without as much as waking the good denizens of the household with all the Christmasy racket. But I digress. Now to the normal humar ear, all of Santa’s hos sound the same, but to one gifted with aupros, there exist four discernible hos. These are ‘ho’, ‘ho’, ‘ho’ and the oft excluded, ‘ho’. Now what’s the difference between the four, one might ask. Of course I have no way of explaining the auditory differences to the aupro impaired. I myself lack the utility of the aupro, and base these facts on the accounts of a reliable friend who is in the possession of a cute pair of aupros, the very heroes of our story – Lappu and Teelu.
Now, with such great power comes the diminishing of the other senses, and of course great responsibility (one cannot lightly discount the words of Peter Parker’s late uncle). My friend, for example, is olfactorily disabled. While those around her pass out by the dozen, due to a prevailing stench, she will barely smell it. On occasion she cannot distinguish between the taste of tea and that of coffee.
The aupro can also be used to protect the delicate insides of the ear from an increase in environmental decibels, thus saving the aupro possessor the trouble of the finger-in-ears action in case of a sudden loud noise. While one would think this would make the person partially deaf, it actually increases their sensitivity to sound. Thus auproites can be very soft-spoken, sometimes even requiring them to yell, so that others can hear them normally.
Now of the two aupros, Lappu is the more dominant, while Teelu is the more shy, reserved type. Lappu also tends to be more endearing because of his cuddly appearance. This, however, makes me feel a bit sorry for poor Teelu, who remains unnoticed while Lappu basks in the glory.
Lappu and Teelu, with their inimitable cuteness, make my friend very attractive. While at first they might throw the onlooker off, as an abnormality, with time one starts to adore the perky little blokes. People are constantly curious to know what they are about, and Lappu (particularly) and Teelu (to a lesser extent) are constantly in the limelight. They have of course learnt to handle this fame.
If I had a pair of aupros, I would cherish them dearly. And even if the most eloquent speaker were to say “lend me your ears”, well, I would lend him my ears, but I would never let go of my aupros!
To Mimi, with love.
The two aural protuberances (we shall refer to them as aupros henceforth – it sounds both cute and Bengali) are thought to exist for ornamental reasons. While most evolutionary thinkers argue that the aupro is a vestigial organ, there are a handful of biologists who believe that they assimilate and filter auditory data, which can be employed for some useful purpose. While this has never been scientifically proven, aupros like Lappu and Teelu are living examples of this fact.
For purely illustratory purposes, let us take the mirthful laughter of good, old Saint Nick. “Ho ho ho” he guffaws, as he jovially cavorts from one roof top to another, accompanied with jingling bells, and the clip clop of reindeer hooves. To his credit, he seems to succeed at his task of gift deposition without as much as waking the good denizens of the household with all the Christmasy racket. But I digress. Now to the normal humar ear, all of Santa’s hos sound the same, but to one gifted with aupros, there exist four discernible hos. These are ‘ho’, ‘ho’, ‘ho’ and the oft excluded, ‘ho’. Now what’s the difference between the four, one might ask. Of course I have no way of explaining the auditory differences to the aupro impaired. I myself lack the utility of the aupro, and base these facts on the accounts of a reliable friend who is in the possession of a cute pair of aupros, the very heroes of our story – Lappu and Teelu.
Now, with such great power comes the diminishing of the other senses, and of course great responsibility (one cannot lightly discount the words of Peter Parker’s late uncle). My friend, for example, is olfactorily disabled. While those around her pass out by the dozen, due to a prevailing stench, she will barely smell it. On occasion she cannot distinguish between the taste of tea and that of coffee.
The aupro can also be used to protect the delicate insides of the ear from an increase in environmental decibels, thus saving the aupro possessor the trouble of the finger-in-ears action in case of a sudden loud noise. While one would think this would make the person partially deaf, it actually increases their sensitivity to sound. Thus auproites can be very soft-spoken, sometimes even requiring them to yell, so that others can hear them normally.
Now of the two aupros, Lappu is the more dominant, while Teelu is the more shy, reserved type. Lappu also tends to be more endearing because of his cuddly appearance. This, however, makes me feel a bit sorry for poor Teelu, who remains unnoticed while Lappu basks in the glory.
Lappu and Teelu, with their inimitable cuteness, make my friend very attractive. While at first they might throw the onlooker off, as an abnormality, with time one starts to adore the perky little blokes. People are constantly curious to know what they are about, and Lappu (particularly) and Teelu (to a lesser extent) are constantly in the limelight. They have of course learnt to handle this fame.
If I had a pair of aupros, I would cherish them dearly. And even if the most eloquent speaker were to say “lend me your ears”, well, I would lend him my ears, but I would never let go of my aupros!
To Mimi, with love.
Thursday, July 14, 2005
Comics!
Yes I spend most of my time online reading webcomics. They're the new rage, and I like to get with the times. Ok fine! I'm a geek! So anyways, I've decided to give you a comic review list. What more can you ask for, huh?
Note: The comics are listed in the order they appear in my IE favourites.
Bottle Rocket Chronicles (***) - The detailing of the mundane existence of a super hero. Bottle Rocket is a super hero with a family, and he's funny too. Good for a giggle.
White Ninja Comics (***.5) - Psychotic humour is an interesting tool to employ in a comic. White Ninja Comics are really badly drawn, but that's part of the whole deal. White Ninja can be rather gross on occassion, but it's almost always hilarious.
Ctrl+Alt+Del (***) - I guess most people would call this another Penny Arcade clone, but this was the first comic I read with the two gamer roomies theme, hence the slightly high rating. Decently funny, and rather l33t.
Red Meat (*****) - Ah, this one is pure psycho hilarious. Max Cannon's artwork is both minimilistic and detailed at the same time. He uses the black and white medium to the fullest. The characters in the strip have well detailed personalities, my favourite being Bug Eyed Earl.
Beaver and Steve (****.5) - BnS uses the routine two character theme, but what characters they are! I love the artwork on this one too, it's very different from what you see around. This comic by James Turner is a constant laugh riot.
Last Kiss Comics (****.5) - This one is just brilliant! John Lustig draws his comics in the style of the cheesy American comics from the 60s. The captivating factor of this comic is the discordant combination of the romantic artwork and the totally unromantic dialogue.
Scotts Mind (***) - Mostly single panels, this comic is vaguely Larsoneqsue, sometimes predictable, but generally quite funny.
Banurgle (***.5) - This comic is just pure SICK! But if you can stomach it, it's despicably hilarious! The illustrations are also totally bizzarre.
Satan's Salvation (*****) - another of the early webcomics I read. This one is not for you if you're even vaguely Christian. It's filled with (non)Christian gags, from Satan's perspective. And while I'm staunchly heterosexual, Lucifer looks real cute! Highly entertaining.
Bunny (*****) - Bunny is cute and amusing. The unique artwork and bizarre settings make this single panel a great read!
Little Gamers (***) - The two gamers storyline again. This one has very simplistic artwork, and the jokes are pretty neat!
Simulated Comic Product (**) - Nice comic, but it's missing something that I can't put my finger on. Some of the strips are dull, some are pretty funny!
John and John (****) - This comic is straight out perverse. Lotsa deviant jokes and uproarious too. Another unique drawing style by this chap who calls himself D!o. It's very, very funny! He also has two cool fundas on his site. One, each of the strips is a link to a webpage that is linked to the punchline; and two, there's a textfield where you can enter the comic number and go straight to that comic, it's very useful.
Qwantz (****) - This comic uses the exact same 6 panels for all the strips. Initially it's rather annoying, but if you can get past that the gags are super funny!
Rabid Monkeys (**.5) - Another in the long list of gamer webcomics that you find online. This one is drawn in an anime style. While the theme is quite cliche, the addition of the character death manages to just about pull it out of the routine gamer comic trap. Some of the gags are quite neat though.
Nozzman (**) - A single panel strip. This one is highly inconsistent. Some of the jokes are really hilarious, others are barely laughable.
Rehabilitating Mr. Wiggles (****.5) - Pure vileness, this one is! Barfable hilarity! The drawings are really cool too!
The Outer Circle (*.5) - Straight webcomic, average humour with a cliched style. Features the cartoonist in the lead role and a couple of other backing characters. It's slightly leet.
The Morning Improv (*****) - By far the most brilliant comic, by one of the most innovative artists, Scott McCloud. The comics are all stand alones, except for Meadow of the damned, which is my favourite. Browse through the rest of Scott's site too, cause it's just brilliant!
Assorted Miscellanea (***) - Not exactly a comic in the pure sense of the word, but random stuff by Thomas Meade. The artwork tends to be a bit messy, but it's made up for by some brilliant gags! Tom, I'd like to see your old comics archived on the site too!
Penny Arcade (**) - I think this one's supposed to be the original gamer webcomic. I didn't really get into it, and PA fans are probably gonna kick my ass bout the rating. But that's what I thought.
Cup of Suffering (***.5) - It starts of very ordinarily along the two roommates-plus-assorted-characters lines, but this comic picks up some great momentum along the way. The drawings are really nice in and some of the strips are side-splitting hilarious!
Ornery Boy (**.5) - I somehow didn't get to into this one, but it's nice and dark and the site's pretty nice.
Able and Baker (****.5) - Very standard in terms of the two character theme, but Able and Baker are an outstanding comic duo, very near the likes of the inimitable Calvin and Hobbes. The jokes are killer!
Her! Girl vs. Pig (***.5) - This one is just weird and whacky. I quite like it!
A Lesson is Learned but the Damage is Irreversible (*****) - Even if this comic weren't good I'd give it a high rating just for the long name. Some of the early strips aren't too great, but they get better, it's a rather new comic and I'm sure it's gonna get cooler. The most amazing thing bout this comic is the artwork, which is just mind blowingly awesome!
Boy on Stick and Slither (***.5) - Another crazy comic. Very similiar to Girl vs. Pig, but the landscapes and scenarios are bizarre! Quite enjoyable.
Butternut Squash (*)- the usual story about two guys, who need sex and a life, and surprise, surprise the characters are the authors of the strip. The comic is occasionally funny, occasionally gross. The only decent thing bout this one is that the artwork is pretty catchy in a webcomic sort of way!
Nazi High (**) - a rather ordinary comic, but it's readable, with a few nice gags. Follows the usual character webcomic soap style.
Perry Bible Fellowship (****.5) - Tangential comics these are. Some are really whacked, and some creep me out. But most are just darn good hilarious.
Note: The comics are listed in the order they appear in my IE favourites.
Bottle Rocket Chronicles (***) - The detailing of the mundane existence of a super hero. Bottle Rocket is a super hero with a family, and he's funny too. Good for a giggle.
White Ninja Comics (***.5) - Psychotic humour is an interesting tool to employ in a comic. White Ninja Comics are really badly drawn, but that's part of the whole deal. White Ninja can be rather gross on occassion, but it's almost always hilarious.
Ctrl+Alt+Del (***) - I guess most people would call this another Penny Arcade clone, but this was the first comic I read with the two gamer roomies theme, hence the slightly high rating. Decently funny, and rather l33t.
Red Meat (*****) - Ah, this one is pure psycho hilarious. Max Cannon's artwork is both minimilistic and detailed at the same time. He uses the black and white medium to the fullest. The characters in the strip have well detailed personalities, my favourite being Bug Eyed Earl.
Beaver and Steve (****.5) - BnS uses the routine two character theme, but what characters they are! I love the artwork on this one too, it's very different from what you see around. This comic by James Turner is a constant laugh riot.
Last Kiss Comics (****.5) - This one is just brilliant! John Lustig draws his comics in the style of the cheesy American comics from the 60s. The captivating factor of this comic is the discordant combination of the romantic artwork and the totally unromantic dialogue.
Scotts Mind (***) - Mostly single panels, this comic is vaguely Larsoneqsue, sometimes predictable, but generally quite funny.
Banurgle (***.5) - This comic is just pure SICK! But if you can stomach it, it's despicably hilarious! The illustrations are also totally bizzarre.
Satan's Salvation (*****) - another of the early webcomics I read. This one is not for you if you're even vaguely Christian. It's filled with (non)Christian gags, from Satan's perspective. And while I'm staunchly heterosexual, Lucifer looks real cute! Highly entertaining.
Bunny (*****) - Bunny is cute and amusing. The unique artwork and bizarre settings make this single panel a great read!
Little Gamers (***) - The two gamers storyline again. This one has very simplistic artwork, and the jokes are pretty neat!
Simulated Comic Product (**) - Nice comic, but it's missing something that I can't put my finger on. Some of the strips are dull, some are pretty funny!
John and John (****) - This comic is straight out perverse. Lotsa deviant jokes and uproarious too. Another unique drawing style by this chap who calls himself D!o. It's very, very funny! He also has two cool fundas on his site. One, each of the strips is a link to a webpage that is linked to the punchline; and two, there's a textfield where you can enter the comic number and go straight to that comic, it's very useful.
Qwantz (****) - This comic uses the exact same 6 panels for all the strips. Initially it's rather annoying, but if you can get past that the gags are super funny!
Rabid Monkeys (**.5) - Another in the long list of gamer webcomics that you find online. This one is drawn in an anime style. While the theme is quite cliche, the addition of the character death manages to just about pull it out of the routine gamer comic trap. Some of the gags are quite neat though.
Nozzman (**) - A single panel strip. This one is highly inconsistent. Some of the jokes are really hilarious, others are barely laughable.
Rehabilitating Mr. Wiggles (****.5) - Pure vileness, this one is! Barfable hilarity! The drawings are really cool too!
The Outer Circle (*.5) - Straight webcomic, average humour with a cliched style. Features the cartoonist in the lead role and a couple of other backing characters. It's slightly leet.
The Morning Improv (*****) - By far the most brilliant comic, by one of the most innovative artists, Scott McCloud. The comics are all stand alones, except for Meadow of the damned, which is my favourite. Browse through the rest of Scott's site too, cause it's just brilliant!
Assorted Miscellanea (***) - Not exactly a comic in the pure sense of the word, but random stuff by Thomas Meade. The artwork tends to be a bit messy, but it's made up for by some brilliant gags! Tom, I'd like to see your old comics archived on the site too!
Penny Arcade (**) - I think this one's supposed to be the original gamer webcomic. I didn't really get into it, and PA fans are probably gonna kick my ass bout the rating. But that's what I thought.
Cup of Suffering (***.5) - It starts of very ordinarily along the two roommates-plus-assorted-characters lines, but this comic picks up some great momentum along the way. The drawings are really nice in and some of the strips are side-splitting hilarious!
Ornery Boy (**.5) - I somehow didn't get to into this one, but it's nice and dark and the site's pretty nice.
Able and Baker (****.5) - Very standard in terms of the two character theme, but Able and Baker are an outstanding comic duo, very near the likes of the inimitable Calvin and Hobbes. The jokes are killer!
Her! Girl vs. Pig (***.5) - This one is just weird and whacky. I quite like it!
A Lesson is Learned but the Damage is Irreversible (*****) - Even if this comic weren't good I'd give it a high rating just for the long name. Some of the early strips aren't too great, but they get better, it's a rather new comic and I'm sure it's gonna get cooler. The most amazing thing bout this comic is the artwork, which is just mind blowingly awesome!
Boy on Stick and Slither (***.5) - Another crazy comic. Very similiar to Girl vs. Pig, but the landscapes and scenarios are bizarre! Quite enjoyable.
Butternut Squash (*)- the usual story about two guys, who need sex and a life, and surprise, surprise the characters are the authors of the strip. The comic is occasionally funny, occasionally gross. The only decent thing bout this one is that the artwork is pretty catchy in a webcomic sort of way!
Nazi High (**) - a rather ordinary comic, but it's readable, with a few nice gags. Follows the usual character webcomic soap style.
Perry Bible Fellowship (****.5) - Tangential comics these are. Some are really whacked, and some creep me out. But most are just darn good hilarious.
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
An anecdote of undisputed interest
A friend once asked me if I was a bigot.
"A bigot?" I replied, "of course not. Only women or Christians would be bigots! I absolutely loathe, hate, detest, abhor and despise bigots! "
"A bigot?" I replied, "of course not. Only women or Christians would be bigots! I absolutely loathe, hate, detest, abhor and despise bigots! "
Sunday, July 10, 2005
Commentary on the Departure of an Anglophile
The original scoutmaster has left the building.
Eclectic.
Wood chitty grub, wood shitting grub, woochitty grub, witchetty grub? Leave it to the Golden Fafa.
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.
Jesus Christ?
Esoteric collector of journals, scraps and other documents pertaining to memory.
We glossed over music, magazine, women, book, and walked with the upper echelons of faith.
Obnoxious. Romantic sop!
Striving for perfection within the boundaries of complacency.
“Watcha beddy saying, chile. That Winston’s baay, lotsah puhlitcal clout, ‘eel beddy colt you, chile”
Nelson Mandela song plus Deep Purple plus Kannada text book plus graduation produces lachrymose condition.
(laughter)
The best way to remember anything is in Chronological order, and the same goes for the Rolling Stones.
Jack Daniels and the dipsomaniacal challenge.
Malluland drive calling Communist, Marxist.
Jojo left his home in Tucson, Arizona
In the throes of Bibliophilic passion, our hero did fall…
Watership Down, The Silmarillion, Candy is Dandy, Foundation and Empire, Mother.
The Empire strikes back? Princess Leia.
Tear jerker of the rightwing Christian fanatics!
Bah!
Eclectic.
Wood chitty grub, wood shitting grub, woochitty grub, witchetty grub? Leave it to the Golden Fafa.
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.
Jesus Christ?
Esoteric collector of journals, scraps and other documents pertaining to memory.
We glossed over music, magazine, women, book, and walked with the upper echelons of faith.
Obnoxious. Romantic sop!
Striving for perfection within the boundaries of complacency.
“Watcha beddy saying, chile. That Winston’s baay, lotsah puhlitcal clout, ‘eel beddy colt you, chile”
Nelson Mandela song plus Deep Purple plus Kannada text book plus graduation produces lachrymose condition.
(laughter)
The best way to remember anything is in Chronological order, and the same goes for the Rolling Stones.
Jack Daniels and the dipsomaniacal challenge.
Malluland drive calling Communist, Marxist.
Jojo left his home in Tucson, Arizona
In the throes of Bibliophilic passion, our hero did fall…
Watership Down, The Silmarillion, Candy is Dandy, Foundation and Empire, Mother.
The Empire strikes back? Princess Leia.
Tear jerker of the rightwing Christian fanatics!
Bah!
Sunday, June 26, 2005
Another Account of Spurious Reckoning - 2
After dinner small cups of a warm, sweet liquid, which tasted vaguely like coffee, were passed around. As we sat sipping on it, some of the men started playing some rather peculiar instruments. The sounds of stringed instruments, skin drums and vocal cries filled the air. The younger women joined in with singing and dancing. They gracefully twirled around, did backflips and leapt in the air in smart synchronisation. The two girls who had served us dinner were also part of the dance. I held the gaze of the shorter, more petite one.
After what seemed like the main routine the girls split up and went to their huts. We were initially disappointed, but Prantis Bababa came up to us and told us we could share the girls’ huts that night. Apparently they had invited us during the dance, but their subtle customs were lost on us.
The remainder of the night was fascinating in the least. Scheznik and I were in separate huts. The girl I was with, whose name was Lehaka, proceeded to undress me, all the while babbling away in Ablalai, while I nodded appreciatively. She then sprinkled various fragrant leaves and flowers around the room, the floors of which were a soft carpet, before undressing herself. She continued chattering in the local dialect as she lowered herself over me. It was a liberating night of exploration and conversation that I could not fathom.
The following morning we were woken early and joined the men folk as they trekked to the quarry. The sun was already rather high in the sky before we reached the quarrying yard, which was filled with gleaming, crystalline rocks. There were already men hard at work, and we were given the necessary implements and shown how we were supposed to carry on with the excavation.
After a hard days work, all we had to show for our troubles were a few small lumps of crystalline rock. The rock was not very easy to chip away, and our arms ached from the constant work. As the sun started to set, we made our way back to the village. Here we were shown the cube farm – a large room where they went about the actually ‘cultivation’ of the cubes.
Here the women went about sorting the crystals the men had brought back into various sizes. There were huge vats around the room, filled with various liquids, within which the larger chunks of rock were dissolved. The resulting solution was then, poured into various cube moulds. The women would carefully polish one of the smaller crystals and this was dipped into the liquid in the cubes by means of a string. The crystals would be left in the solution for a few months. We looked around the farm, and saw cubes in various state of growth. Once the entire liquid had crystallized the cube could be carefully extricated and used in the telling of fortunes.
Prantis Bababa made one of his usual magical appearances, and gave us a guided tour of the farm. He explained how the different liquids from which the crystals were created gave the crystal different properties, how some liquids crystallized faster than others. At this point, Scheznik interrupted and asked Prantis Bababa, what the quickest crystallizing liquid would be. Prantis Bababa showed us a thick, silver liquid, which looked like mercury.
“I say we make our crystals from those, so we can leave quickly”, said Scheznik”
“Uh, tarry a moment” Prantis Bababa said, “are you sure you want to cultivate the crystals that quickly”
“What properties will this liquid give the cube?” I asked.
“One would not be able to tell the future” said Prantis Bababa, “but the cubes that result from this blend are always highly entertaining.”
“How long would it take?” asked Scheznik.
“It is an overnight affair!”
“That settles it” said Scheznik, “I’m getting myself one of these.
“Don’t you want to try out different ones Scheznik?” I asked.
“Well you can wait if you want to, but I have a couple of women waiting for me back in the city!”
Scheznik is Scheznik, so I shrugged and we went about setting up two moulds, with the viscous liquid, and set the crystals in them. Our cubes would be ready the next morning.
Dinner was served as usual. This time Scheznik and I decided to help out with the cooking, much to the amusement of the village women. We served out the food and handed plates out to people, and joined in the dancing too. Everyone was thoroughly entertained!
After another great night, this time with some of the women we had made the vegetable gravy with, we were excited to see the cubes we had cultivated. We made our way to the cube farm, and went to where our moulds were kept. Prantis Bababa was already there.
“You are here” he said, rather pointlessly.
We looked at the moulds; the liquid had solidified, into a translucent, gray cube. With the help of Prantis Bababa, we carefully removed the cubes from the containers. They were unbelievably light. Scheznik actually threw his cube in the air a couple of times. One could look through the cube and see distorted figures of the objects on the other side. Streaks of blue and gray ran through the cube, they were pieces of art, avant garde nonetheless.
“So how do we use these?” Scheznik asked Prantis Bababa.
“One must look into it and concentrate, each cube works differently for different people, depending on what you think of.” Prantis Bababa replied.
We decided to set off back to the city, if we left now we would make it in time for dinner. We bid our hosts farewell, and headed back to the little room where we had left our bags. After changing back to our old clothes I started packing the cubes.
“Wait, don’t you want to try them out?” asked Scheznik.
“Now? Shouldn’t we head back?” I asked.
“Come on, let’s see what our cubes do.”
“Alright, lets.”
So we kept our cubes in front of us and peered into them. I stared through the cube, but all I could see was a skewed perspective of the room.
“I don’t think it’s working.” I said, turning to Scheznik, when he vanished in front of my eyes.
Now I was left not knowing what to do, and Scheznik had disappeared too. I continued looking into my cube trying to focus, wondering where Scheznik could have gone. The quarry, the farm, the forest. The forest? As I looked through the cube, I noticed the distorted refractions slowly morph from the pale brown of the hut to various shades of green. I looked around and found myself in the middle of the forest we had crossed but two nights ago.
“Scheznik?” I yelled.
There was a rustle in the bushes near by. “Scheznik, is that you?” I asked. Unfortunately it was not, a large boar walked out of the bushes. It grunted when it saw me, and prepared to charge. I turned around ready to run, when I noticed that I was attired in battle gear, and had a broad sword in my hand. The boar was already making its way towards me. I stepped aside and swiped at it with the sword. The boar shrieked in pain, and collapsed, then it disappeared in a puff of smoke, and a gold coin remained where it had fallen.
I picked up the coin, it was real gold, and rather heavy too. I put it my belt, where I noticed I also had a dagger, and some vials of various liquids, marked ‘life force’, ‘mana’, ‘heat’ and so on. On my back was a large shield, which I tried to use, but the broadsword was too heavy to wield with one hand, so I had to secure the shield to my back once more.
“Scheznik!” I called out once more.
Another rustle in the bushes, this time it sounded like something much larger than a boar. I gripped the sword tight and readied myself for whatever would come through. Scheznik jumped out of the bushes into the clearing, he was dressed in pretty much the same way I was, and he had a short staff in his hand.
“Darius!” he said, “great you made it!”
“Yeah, though I have no idea what’s going on! Is this the forest we have to cross?” I asked
“I’m not sure.” He replied.
“Any idea what’s with the clothes and weapons?”
“No, but it’s a lot of fun, how many attacks did you survive?”
“Just one boar.”
“What a loser! Get ready now, there are some spirits coming through here!”
“What?”
As soon as the question mark emerged from my lips, two screaming wraiths appeared through the surrounding foliage.
“Check this out, Darius.” Scheznik said as he positioned himself and shot out a blast of blue light from his staff at the banshee which screeched and disappeared.
The other wraith lashed at me with some sort of whip and caught me right on the arm. I dropped my sword screaming in pain.
“Oh, come on Darius!” shouted Scheznik as he sent another blast at the second creature, and ran into the bushes.
I picked up my sword in my good hand, and followed him into the forest. We ran for a while before we stopped at another clearing, gasping for breath. Scheznik was laughing. “Isn’t this so much fun?”
“No it isn’t, my hand is killing me! What were those things?”
“I have no clue, but for your hand, drink a bit from one of those life force vials”
I looked at my belt, and picked out the life force vial. “Are you sure?” I asked him. “Trust me.” He replied. I took a quick swig from the vial, the warm liquid ran down my throat and I already felt rejuvenated. The marks from the wraith’s whip slowly disappeared from my arm. “This is crazy!” I remarked.
“I know!” said Scheznik.
We continued making our way through the forest, trying to find a way out. “Looks like our cubes were some sort of teleportation devices” I said.
“The cubes!” Scheznik shouted for joy.
“What?”
“We can use the cubes to get back!”
“Where are they?”
“In the pouch on your belt!”
“What? How is that possible, this pouch is too small to hold the cube, the cubes were much bigger…”
Scheznik interrupted me mid-sentence to pull out his cube from his pouch, “it’s quite magical he said.” Thoroughly amazed I put my hand into my pouch and pulled out my cube. We sat down on the forest floor, and looked into our cubes. I pictured the hut, imagined myself in normal surroundings. Scheznik had already disappeared. He seemed to be a natural at this. A large amount of concentration later, and I found myself in the hut. We were back in our normal clothes. Both Pico and Prantis Bababa were there too, with wide grins on their faces.
“These cubes are amazing!” said Scheznik.
“Pico is taking you’ll back to the city, I trust you have enjoyed your stay”, Prantis Bababa said in his droll monotone.
“Yes we’ve had a wonderful time,” I said “But what sort of cubes are these?”
Prantis Bababa smiled, and bowed and made the clicking sound, that we had first heard when we had arrived at K’na-Ablala. We bowed and did the same. Pico picked up his bag and headed out towards the forest, we picked up our luggage and followed him.
As we left Kna-Ablala, I looked back to get one last glimpse of the village. It wore a deserted look, Prantis Bababa was the only person in sight, standing outside the hut where we had cleansed ourselves.
“Those are Intended Game Cubes” he said, as we walked back to the city.
I love my little puns! Did anyone figure out the other gamer pun in this account?
After what seemed like the main routine the girls split up and went to their huts. We were initially disappointed, but Prantis Bababa came up to us and told us we could share the girls’ huts that night. Apparently they had invited us during the dance, but their subtle customs were lost on us.
The remainder of the night was fascinating in the least. Scheznik and I were in separate huts. The girl I was with, whose name was Lehaka, proceeded to undress me, all the while babbling away in Ablalai, while I nodded appreciatively. She then sprinkled various fragrant leaves and flowers around the room, the floors of which were a soft carpet, before undressing herself. She continued chattering in the local dialect as she lowered herself over me. It was a liberating night of exploration and conversation that I could not fathom.
The following morning we were woken early and joined the men folk as they trekked to the quarry. The sun was already rather high in the sky before we reached the quarrying yard, which was filled with gleaming, crystalline rocks. There were already men hard at work, and we were given the necessary implements and shown how we were supposed to carry on with the excavation.
After a hard days work, all we had to show for our troubles were a few small lumps of crystalline rock. The rock was not very easy to chip away, and our arms ached from the constant work. As the sun started to set, we made our way back to the village. Here we were shown the cube farm – a large room where they went about the actually ‘cultivation’ of the cubes.
Here the women went about sorting the crystals the men had brought back into various sizes. There were huge vats around the room, filled with various liquids, within which the larger chunks of rock were dissolved. The resulting solution was then, poured into various cube moulds. The women would carefully polish one of the smaller crystals and this was dipped into the liquid in the cubes by means of a string. The crystals would be left in the solution for a few months. We looked around the farm, and saw cubes in various state of growth. Once the entire liquid had crystallized the cube could be carefully extricated and used in the telling of fortunes.
Prantis Bababa made one of his usual magical appearances, and gave us a guided tour of the farm. He explained how the different liquids from which the crystals were created gave the crystal different properties, how some liquids crystallized faster than others. At this point, Scheznik interrupted and asked Prantis Bababa, what the quickest crystallizing liquid would be. Prantis Bababa showed us a thick, silver liquid, which looked like mercury.
“I say we make our crystals from those, so we can leave quickly”, said Scheznik”
“Uh, tarry a moment” Prantis Bababa said, “are you sure you want to cultivate the crystals that quickly”
“What properties will this liquid give the cube?” I asked.
“One would not be able to tell the future” said Prantis Bababa, “but the cubes that result from this blend are always highly entertaining.”
“How long would it take?” asked Scheznik.
“It is an overnight affair!”
“That settles it” said Scheznik, “I’m getting myself one of these.
“Don’t you want to try out different ones Scheznik?” I asked.
“Well you can wait if you want to, but I have a couple of women waiting for me back in the city!”
Scheznik is Scheznik, so I shrugged and we went about setting up two moulds, with the viscous liquid, and set the crystals in them. Our cubes would be ready the next morning.
Dinner was served as usual. This time Scheznik and I decided to help out with the cooking, much to the amusement of the village women. We served out the food and handed plates out to people, and joined in the dancing too. Everyone was thoroughly entertained!
After another great night, this time with some of the women we had made the vegetable gravy with, we were excited to see the cubes we had cultivated. We made our way to the cube farm, and went to where our moulds were kept. Prantis Bababa was already there.
“You are here” he said, rather pointlessly.
We looked at the moulds; the liquid had solidified, into a translucent, gray cube. With the help of Prantis Bababa, we carefully removed the cubes from the containers. They were unbelievably light. Scheznik actually threw his cube in the air a couple of times. One could look through the cube and see distorted figures of the objects on the other side. Streaks of blue and gray ran through the cube, they were pieces of art, avant garde nonetheless.
“So how do we use these?” Scheznik asked Prantis Bababa.
“One must look into it and concentrate, each cube works differently for different people, depending on what you think of.” Prantis Bababa replied.
We decided to set off back to the city, if we left now we would make it in time for dinner. We bid our hosts farewell, and headed back to the little room where we had left our bags. After changing back to our old clothes I started packing the cubes.
“Wait, don’t you want to try them out?” asked Scheznik.
“Now? Shouldn’t we head back?” I asked.
“Come on, let’s see what our cubes do.”
“Alright, lets.”
So we kept our cubes in front of us and peered into them. I stared through the cube, but all I could see was a skewed perspective of the room.
“I don’t think it’s working.” I said, turning to Scheznik, when he vanished in front of my eyes.
Now I was left not knowing what to do, and Scheznik had disappeared too. I continued looking into my cube trying to focus, wondering where Scheznik could have gone. The quarry, the farm, the forest. The forest? As I looked through the cube, I noticed the distorted refractions slowly morph from the pale brown of the hut to various shades of green. I looked around and found myself in the middle of the forest we had crossed but two nights ago.
“Scheznik?” I yelled.
There was a rustle in the bushes near by. “Scheznik, is that you?” I asked. Unfortunately it was not, a large boar walked out of the bushes. It grunted when it saw me, and prepared to charge. I turned around ready to run, when I noticed that I was attired in battle gear, and had a broad sword in my hand. The boar was already making its way towards me. I stepped aside and swiped at it with the sword. The boar shrieked in pain, and collapsed, then it disappeared in a puff of smoke, and a gold coin remained where it had fallen.
I picked up the coin, it was real gold, and rather heavy too. I put it my belt, where I noticed I also had a dagger, and some vials of various liquids, marked ‘life force’, ‘mana’, ‘heat’ and so on. On my back was a large shield, which I tried to use, but the broadsword was too heavy to wield with one hand, so I had to secure the shield to my back once more.
“Scheznik!” I called out once more.
Another rustle in the bushes, this time it sounded like something much larger than a boar. I gripped the sword tight and readied myself for whatever would come through. Scheznik jumped out of the bushes into the clearing, he was dressed in pretty much the same way I was, and he had a short staff in his hand.
“Darius!” he said, “great you made it!”
“Yeah, though I have no idea what’s going on! Is this the forest we have to cross?” I asked
“I’m not sure.” He replied.
“Any idea what’s with the clothes and weapons?”
“No, but it’s a lot of fun, how many attacks did you survive?”
“Just one boar.”
“What a loser! Get ready now, there are some spirits coming through here!”
“What?”
As soon as the question mark emerged from my lips, two screaming wraiths appeared through the surrounding foliage.
“Check this out, Darius.” Scheznik said as he positioned himself and shot out a blast of blue light from his staff at the banshee which screeched and disappeared.
The other wraith lashed at me with some sort of whip and caught me right on the arm. I dropped my sword screaming in pain.
“Oh, come on Darius!” shouted Scheznik as he sent another blast at the second creature, and ran into the bushes.
I picked up my sword in my good hand, and followed him into the forest. We ran for a while before we stopped at another clearing, gasping for breath. Scheznik was laughing. “Isn’t this so much fun?”
“No it isn’t, my hand is killing me! What were those things?”
“I have no clue, but for your hand, drink a bit from one of those life force vials”
I looked at my belt, and picked out the life force vial. “Are you sure?” I asked him. “Trust me.” He replied. I took a quick swig from the vial, the warm liquid ran down my throat and I already felt rejuvenated. The marks from the wraith’s whip slowly disappeared from my arm. “This is crazy!” I remarked.
“I know!” said Scheznik.
We continued making our way through the forest, trying to find a way out. “Looks like our cubes were some sort of teleportation devices” I said.
“The cubes!” Scheznik shouted for joy.
“What?”
“We can use the cubes to get back!”
“Where are they?”
“In the pouch on your belt!”
“What? How is that possible, this pouch is too small to hold the cube, the cubes were much bigger…”
Scheznik interrupted me mid-sentence to pull out his cube from his pouch, “it’s quite magical he said.” Thoroughly amazed I put my hand into my pouch and pulled out my cube. We sat down on the forest floor, and looked into our cubes. I pictured the hut, imagined myself in normal surroundings. Scheznik had already disappeared. He seemed to be a natural at this. A large amount of concentration later, and I found myself in the hut. We were back in our normal clothes. Both Pico and Prantis Bababa were there too, with wide grins on their faces.
“These cubes are amazing!” said Scheznik.
“Pico is taking you’ll back to the city, I trust you have enjoyed your stay”, Prantis Bababa said in his droll monotone.
“Yes we’ve had a wonderful time,” I said “But what sort of cubes are these?”
Prantis Bababa smiled, and bowed and made the clicking sound, that we had first heard when we had arrived at K’na-Ablala. We bowed and did the same. Pico picked up his bag and headed out towards the forest, we picked up our luggage and followed him.
As we left Kna-Ablala, I looked back to get one last glimpse of the village. It wore a deserted look, Prantis Bababa was the only person in sight, standing outside the hut where we had cleansed ourselves.
“Those are Intended Game Cubes” he said, as we walked back to the city.
I love my little puns! Did anyone figure out the other gamer pun in this account?
Thursday, June 23, 2005
Another Account of Spurious Reckoning - 1
Twelve hours had passed since we had left the city, and the sun was now low in the sky. We were rather exhausted by the long trek. Scheznik suggested we camp before it got dark, but Pico, our guide, insisted that there was an hour of daylight and we must get out of the woods and reach the village before dark. So with leaden legs we trudged on towards our destination – the remote village of K’na-Ablala.
As the light started to fade, an acrid smell started to fill the forest.
“Hurry up” said Pico, in a loud whisper. He had a worried look on his face.
“What is it?” I asked. He quickly put his hand over my mouth and glanced around to see if anyone was there.
“We must get out of the woods before dark”, he said in a hushed tone, “there are spirits that wander this forest after dark”
“And are they dangerous?” I asked
“They are not of good intentions”, he said, and walked on in a hurried gait.
We quickened our pace and headed towards the village with renewed inspiration.
The woods started to thin, and in the distance we could see a few scattered lights. Gradually the huts materialised out of the darkness. We were now close enough to see both the moonlight and wood fires reflect of their walls.
A man came out of one of the huts to greet us.
Pico bowed and made a sound with his tongue that can best be described as a ‘tcha’, he motioned us to follow suit, and we bowed and said ‘tcha’ as best we could.
“Good evening,” said the man in a deep, slow, monotone, “I am Prantis Bababa. You have cleansed yourselves in the rooms and have eaten with us.”
Scheznik looked at me with a raised eyebrow, while Prantis Bababa bowed and left.
Pico led us into one of the huts where he told us to undress and sit cross legged around a small fireplace, which was built in the centre of the room.
“His words made no sense”, I remarked about Prantis Bababa.
“He was telling us the events that will happen the rest of tonight. For him time holds no value. They confuse tense easily.”
“Yes, of course.”
At this point in the narrative, I must break to inform the reader of an important matter that I may have overlooked. The village of K’na-Ablala is home to seers, mystics and clairvoyants. The village is also most famous (among small, secret circles) for its clairvoyant cubes. The Ablalai are precise cube farmers. These cubes that they cultivate are akin to the crystals of the gypsies. While the Ablalai cubes are much cruder, less aesthetic (to some), and a lot more obscure than their Romanian counterparts, they are a more intricate expression of space, time and the other mysteries of the universe. But more on this later.
Pico had started a fire. He explained that we would have to be cleansed before we could interact with the Ablalai, so that the outside world that we brought with us would not contaminate them.
He then stripped bare and sat cross legged at an angle from us such that we formed the vertices of an isosceles triangle. He went on to throw a few crushed and dried leaves into the fire which caused the flames to leap up momentarily, before filling the room with a faint, purple glow and a sweet, intoxicating fragrance. Pico then closed his eyes and sat still. Scheznik and I exchanged glances and then closed our eyes. The smell in the room was warm and absorbing, like none I have ever experienced.
We opened our eyes after some time. I could not gauge how long we had sat there; apparently it had been a while, for the fire was now almost dead, and mostly burning embers remained.
We felt a lot more relaxed and at ease now. The tenseness in our limbs, from the long journey, had disappeared. We slowly went about dressing ourselves in some clothes that Pico gave us. The attire consisted of a loose shirt that had to be tied at the belly, and a long piece of cloth to wrap around our waists. This was rather similar to what Prantis Bababa had been wearing.
We followed Pico to an open area in the centre of the village where food was being cooked over various fires. There were clumps of giant mushrooms growing in the area, and the village people used them as chairs. Plates with food on them were being passed around.
Prantis Bababa came up to us (he seemed to have appeared from no where), and showed us some mushrooms we could sit on. Two young girls brought plates for Pico, Scheznik and I. We smiled at them and thanked them, and they bowed and went away giggling.
Dinner consisted of balls of a mash of substances I could not identify, in a rather tasty gravy. Prantis Bababa joined us mid-dinner. Pico had told us that Prantis Bababa was the village head and one of the few who knew our language.
We asked the village chief if we could purchase a few of the clairvoyant cubes. He told us that they did not accept monetary payment and we would have to help making our own. So it was decided. The following morning we would join the villagers in their cube making process.
Part 2 from this entry in the journal of Darius will be posted on Monday (hopefully). For more from the adventures of Scheznik and Darius click here.
The phrase 'Clairvoyant Cube Farmer' was coined by JP.
As the light started to fade, an acrid smell started to fill the forest.
“Hurry up” said Pico, in a loud whisper. He had a worried look on his face.
“What is it?” I asked. He quickly put his hand over my mouth and glanced around to see if anyone was there.
“We must get out of the woods before dark”, he said in a hushed tone, “there are spirits that wander this forest after dark”
“And are they dangerous?” I asked
“They are not of good intentions”, he said, and walked on in a hurried gait.
We quickened our pace and headed towards the village with renewed inspiration.
The woods started to thin, and in the distance we could see a few scattered lights. Gradually the huts materialised out of the darkness. We were now close enough to see both the moonlight and wood fires reflect of their walls.
A man came out of one of the huts to greet us.
Pico bowed and made a sound with his tongue that can best be described as a ‘tcha’, he motioned us to follow suit, and we bowed and said ‘tcha’ as best we could.
“Good evening,” said the man in a deep, slow, monotone, “I am Prantis Bababa. You have cleansed yourselves in the rooms and have eaten with us.”
Scheznik looked at me with a raised eyebrow, while Prantis Bababa bowed and left.
Pico led us into one of the huts where he told us to undress and sit cross legged around a small fireplace, which was built in the centre of the room.
“His words made no sense”, I remarked about Prantis Bababa.
“He was telling us the events that will happen the rest of tonight. For him time holds no value. They confuse tense easily.”
“Yes, of course.”
At this point in the narrative, I must break to inform the reader of an important matter that I may have overlooked. The village of K’na-Ablala is home to seers, mystics and clairvoyants. The village is also most famous (among small, secret circles) for its clairvoyant cubes. The Ablalai are precise cube farmers. These cubes that they cultivate are akin to the crystals of the gypsies. While the Ablalai cubes are much cruder, less aesthetic (to some), and a lot more obscure than their Romanian counterparts, they are a more intricate expression of space, time and the other mysteries of the universe. But more on this later.
Pico had started a fire. He explained that we would have to be cleansed before we could interact with the Ablalai, so that the outside world that we brought with us would not contaminate them.
He then stripped bare and sat cross legged at an angle from us such that we formed the vertices of an isosceles triangle. He went on to throw a few crushed and dried leaves into the fire which caused the flames to leap up momentarily, before filling the room with a faint, purple glow and a sweet, intoxicating fragrance. Pico then closed his eyes and sat still. Scheznik and I exchanged glances and then closed our eyes. The smell in the room was warm and absorbing, like none I have ever experienced.
We opened our eyes after some time. I could not gauge how long we had sat there; apparently it had been a while, for the fire was now almost dead, and mostly burning embers remained.
We felt a lot more relaxed and at ease now. The tenseness in our limbs, from the long journey, had disappeared. We slowly went about dressing ourselves in some clothes that Pico gave us. The attire consisted of a loose shirt that had to be tied at the belly, and a long piece of cloth to wrap around our waists. This was rather similar to what Prantis Bababa had been wearing.
We followed Pico to an open area in the centre of the village where food was being cooked over various fires. There were clumps of giant mushrooms growing in the area, and the village people used them as chairs. Plates with food on them were being passed around.
Prantis Bababa came up to us (he seemed to have appeared from no where), and showed us some mushrooms we could sit on. Two young girls brought plates for Pico, Scheznik and I. We smiled at them and thanked them, and they bowed and went away giggling.
Dinner consisted of balls of a mash of substances I could not identify, in a rather tasty gravy. Prantis Bababa joined us mid-dinner. Pico had told us that Prantis Bababa was the village head and one of the few who knew our language.
We asked the village chief if we could purchase a few of the clairvoyant cubes. He told us that they did not accept monetary payment and we would have to help making our own. So it was decided. The following morning we would join the villagers in their cube making process.
Part 2 from this entry in the journal of Darius will be posted on Monday (hopefully). For more from the adventures of Scheznik and Darius click here.
The phrase 'Clairvoyant Cube Farmer' was coined by JP.
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